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Friday, August 15, 2008

Goals- Mixed feelings and Sabotage

I’ve had a goal in my journal that I’ve broadcast to many of my peers (for added accountability) and yet I’m coming up with excuse after excuse as to why I haven’t reached it yet. This has been going on for a YEAR now. I was driving into work one morning early this week, daydreaming with the sunroof open and it occurred to me: I think mixed feelings are what have been keeping me from running toward the finish line with in my usual stubbornness and fortitude.

This epiphany was probably obvious to the people who know me - why is it that someof the most obvious things are so difficult to pin down in our minds? The goal is to prepare our house for listing, with the eventual goal being to sell and move somewhere with less land and more storage space. *sigh*

The house we live in is 1500 square feet, which is plenty big for us. The one thing I don’t like about it is the layout—straight out of the mid to late 70’s, ranch style with compartmentalized rooms that don’t effectively utilize the available space. In addition, we live on 5 ¼ acres—as much as we love having a big yard, we don’t want to spend the amount of time required to take care of it at this stage in our life. We both work full time and have long commutes to work, leaving precious little time for family as it is, so the goal is a smaller yard with a smidge more living space—sounds good, right?

Did I mention my parents built this house? That I can recall picnicking around the skeleton of the house as it went up on weekends with my parents when I was about three? That my Dad, whom I miss dearly every day, planted the trees out in front of the house, built the swing set in the back yard, taught me how to garden out back? On the surface this move makes perfect sense, and in the grand scheme of things I still think it’s the right thing to do. But it helps to understand the root of my procrastination, the underlying reluctance.

Have you had a difficult decision you’ve been struggling with lately? How did you finally decide to move forward? For me, the house projects continue, the goal still the same. I will put this decision in the hands of one who is greater than I, who has a plan for me that will be revealed in time.

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monica said...

Wow that is quite a decision. I can't say I've ever been faced with one of that magnitude in a while.

Is remodeling out of the question?

Is the property big enough to build another small house on that you could rent out?

I'm sure you make the right choice when the time comes.!

Mimi said...

Have you looked for a new home yet? Maybe some house hunting will make letting go easier.

Steph at Problem Solvin' Mom said...

Hi Monica! Thanks for your suggestions :) We considered remodeling, but with materials and labor costs going up so much lately decided against it, at least for now. If we don't find anyone interested in buying we will likely reconsider.

Hi Mimi, I did a little looking, but don't want to find something I "can't let go" and end up with 2 houses, so for now I'm concentrating just on getting our house ready to sell.

I think if my Dad were still living, it would be a much easier decision for me. I am much more sentimental about it now that it holds so many precious memories.

Thanks ladies!

list mama said...

Oh, that is a tough one! I would have a hard time with this one. Maybe your goal should be to wait until it becomes a seller's market again. You'd hate to let go of your house for a price unequal to the sentimental value.


Octamom said...

I saw this last night after finishing up my post---

I'm a big enough sentimental baby without the bonus points of relocating from a home my parents built with all the associated emotion and memory that goes with that.

You are so right--there are times where for the good of where we are now we have to let go of something from our yesterday. You are choosing what is most precious--creating more time with your children.